Mandy McAdoo and the Mystery of the Missing Noun

28 Jun

Good, unexpected things at the Walgreens.  Firstly, and most amazingly, they had apple pies at a local Walgreens this week.  And I don’t mean one of those half-moon shaped, hand-held “fruit pies” that come in a wrapper.  I mean actual, honest-to-god, round, 8” diameter pies.  Like that you’d slice and serve on a plate with ice cream and everything.  I guess ‘cause of the 4th maybe?  Anyway they had them.  I was about to buy one, and then I remembered that I’ve yet to enjoy an apple pie that I didn’t bake my very own self.  So I had serious doubts about enjoying the pie from Walgreens.  But who knows? Perhaps it would’ve been lovely.

Also, I found some sulfate-free shampoo.  I had been using DevaCurl products, but those aren’t sold at Walgreens, so I couldn’t buy them and I didn’t stock up before this project started.  And it’s really not that easy to find sulfate-free shampoos.  Even at a health food store most of the shampoos have sulfates. But there’s a new line of hair products called Renpure Organics, made by some family called Redmond, that are sulfate free and claim to be made with organic, safe, fresh, natural ingredients.  And it’s great if they are all those things.  I don’t really care if they are or not, I just don’t like to put sulfates in my hair ‘cause they dry it out.  And then I started to wonder,  who cares about fresh ingredients for one’s hair?  Does something terrible happen to the thyme extract if it is not put into the mix just at the peak of freshness?  Who knows?  Maybe it would make all the hair fall clean off my head or something.  Anyway, the Renpure people are also doing this rebate thing so that you can try one “free” (free if you get your crap together to do the rebate on time and everything of course).  So that’s good.  And the products are pretty good.  I bought a shampoo, and then later a conditioner, and I really like them.  And they don’t cost $15 a bottle, like so many of my hair products.

And now for the grammar fun!  At the bottom of my conditioner bottle it says “THESE PRODUCTS ARE NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS TESTED ON THE REDMOND’S.”  Ok , first there needs to be a period or (even better) a semi-colon after the word ANIMALS.  And yeah, there is a line break between ANIMALS and TESTED, which could imply the end of a sentence/thought.  But then there’s a period at the very end, after REDMOND’S.  So the author was not using line breaks as stopping points if there is a period used elsewhere at the end of a line.  And, more importantly, it’s tested on the Redmond’s what?  There’s a noun missing.  Unless, of course, it is tested on animals, but only on animals that aren’t tested on the Redmond’s missing noun.  Now, obviously, I pepper my blogs with sentence fragments and run-ons and unnecessary commas in an attempt to capture my voice, but I don’t think the back of a bottle of conditioner is the ideal time and place to play free and loose with grammatical rules.  And if a technical writer or copywriter does choose to be cavalier about grammar there, the results need to be absolutely charming.  Just sayin’.


4 Responses to “Mandy McAdoo and the Mystery of the Missing Noun”

  1. scribblingcandy June 28, 2010 at 9:57 pm #

    Your blog is super awesome! Love reading it. I also love your attention to grammar on the conditioner bottle — you’re my kind of girl!

  2. Patricia June 29, 2010 at 9:33 am #

    So, it wasn’t tested on the animals who are tested on the Redmond’s possessive something or other? Bleh!

  3. Perrin July 2, 2010 at 6:12 pm #

    I HATE it when people try to make nouns plural using apostrophes. My students do that all the time!

    • mandymcadoo July 3, 2010 at 6:12 pm #

      Hmm… I wonder if that company hired a 7th grader to write the copy for the back of the bottle…

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