Online Shopping!

16 Jul

So I finally shopped on!  I didn’t buy anything exciting, but I actually shopped and bought something (exercise equipment – can’t buy that in the store!).  Because I generally shop for things I need/want NOW, not things that I need/want in a few weeks. And who wants to exercise right away?  Yuck.   And like, I could buy makeup online, sure.  But when I buy lipstick, I want to try it right away.  Things like detergent or drain cleaner or something I actually need right away.  And clothes… well, there just aren’t many clothes on  There are actually fewer than when I started.  It’s really just pantyhose and socks now. Earlier, there were some t-shirts and compression shorts.  Not that I’d need compression shorts… but they were there.  I was actually surprised at how many items that were available earlier weren’t available now.  Because I checked out the items available for purchase on the website pretty thoroughly right before I started this project. The merchandise changes in the virtual store  just like it does in the in real life stores.  There was also some cheese in the “Specialty Foods” section that I wanted to purchase that was no longer available.  I think that one was a seasonal item.   And I’ll bet you didn’t know that had a “Specialty Foods” section, now did ya? And there’s about a bazillion more Halloween costumes now than there was in May.  But that makes sense.

Also surprising at the website was the section for “Bald Head Care”.  I wouldn’t have ever thought of a bald head care section.  But there it was.

My favorite favorite thing I found though was this guy.

He was in the “Outdoor Holiday Décor” section*.  Apparently he’s “animated,” though we don’t know what he does.  He reminds me of the ugly Voldemort fetus thing in the “train station” in Deatlhy Hallows.  ‘Member?  I pictured Voldemort’s dead baby soul looking just like this.  What a fun thing to have on your lawn this Halloween!  I also LOVE the description. Here it is word for word from the website:

Your question is the same as ours: What is it? We’re not sure, but it looks like something you’d find in toxic waste. Fleshy colored, with a gross curly tail, shriveled arm, and disgusting teeth.

  • Disgusting
  • Requires 4 AA batteries, not included
  • Indoor/outdoor use

I just love that “Disgusting” gets its own little bullet. I really want to meet whoever wrote this copy.  I’d also like to meet the buyer that’s a member of the Walgreens staff who  was like “Yeah!  We gotta carry that!”  That person is on it!


*I wouldn’t bother with the “Indoor Holiday Décor”.  It’s all Christmas stuff that’s… well… not super aesthetically pleasing.


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